Bullying

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What is Bullying?

Use of superior strength or influence to intimidate someone, usually to get them to do what one wants
Includes force or coercion to abuse or intimidate others
May be habitual and involve an imbalance of power
May be repeated towards victims

Types of bullying:

Indirect
Verbal
Physical
Cyber

Indirect bullying:

Putting you down
Yelling and screaming at you
Intentionally embarrassing you in public
Preventing you from seeing or talking with friends and family
Telling you what to do and wear
Using online communities or cell phones to control, intimidate or humiliate you
Blaming your actions for their abusive or unhealthy behavior
Stalking you
- Threatening to commit suicide to keep you from breaking up with them
- Threatening to harm you, your pet or people you care about
- Making you feel guilty or immature when you don’t consent to sexual activity
- Threatening to expose your secrets such as your sexual orientation or immigration status
- Starting rumors about you
- Threatening to have your children taken away

Verbal bullying:

Name calling
Insulting someone
Making jokes about race, gender or sexual orientation
Teasing
Using abusive language or offensive remarks

Physical bullying:

Hitting
Kicking
Punching
Scratching
Spitting
Biting
Causing any type of damage to a person
Not allowing a person to leave
Taking another person’s property
Damaging another person’s property

Cyber bullying:

Using electronics, social networking sites and messaging to bully using the below tools…
Texting
Pictures and Videos
Phone calls
Email
Chat room
Instant messaging
Websites

Who is affected?

Anyone can be a target
Children
Adults
A person of any race
Male or female
Rich or poor
Co workers
Teachers
Students
Family and friends
It occurs everyday
In about every place
In many different situations and places
We often just think about kids being bullied, but adults are bullied everyday
It occurs one on one and group to group

Why does it happen?

The bully may not like the person being bullied
They find bullying fun
They like to feel tough and strong, in control
Think it will make them popular
Problems at home or in their own life
Being mistreated themselves
Learned behavior

Why do bullies bully?

Distrust
Fear
Misunderstanding
Lack of knowledge
Jealousy
Anger
Competition

Children more likely to be bullied also…

feel disconnected from school and do not like school
lack quality friendships at school
display high levels of emotionality that indicate vulnerability and low levels of resilience
be less well accepted by peers, avoid conflict and be socially withdrawn
have low self-esteem
be relatively non-assertive
be different in some way.

Children most likely to bully also…

feel disconnected from school and dislike school
demonstrate good leadership skills
demonstrate good verbal skills and ability to talk themselves out of trouble
demonstrate low levels of moral reasoning and high levels of egocentric reasoning
believe that the use of aggression is an acceptable way to achieve their own goals
be preoccupied with their own goals and not concerned about the rights of others
feel disconnected from school and dislike school
demonstrate good leadership skills
demonstrate good verbal skills and ability to talk themselves out of trouble
demonstrate low levels of moral reasoning and high levels of egocentric reasoning
believe that the use of aggression is an acceptable way to achieve their own goals
be preoccupied with their own goals and not concerned about the rights of others

Some statistics

Over 3.2 million students are bullied each year
1 in 4 teachers see nothing wrong with bullying and only intervene 4% of the time
Approximately 160,000 kids skip school daily because of bullying
1 in 7 kids in grades K-12 is either a bully or a victim of bullying
56% of students have witnessed bullying
71% of students report bullying as a problem in their school
1 out of 10 students drop out of school because of repeated bullying
90% of 4th-8th graders report being victims of bullying
Bullying increases in elementary, peaks in middle school and declines in high school
Bullying stats show that revenge is the strongest motivation for school shootings
Students who witness violence at home are more likely to take it into the schools
Bullying has been linked to at least 75% of school shootings
Studies reviewed from 13 countries found connections between bullying and suicide
Suicide rates among 10-14 year olds have grown more than 50% in the last 3 decades
A 2007 study shows 86% of LGBT students are bullied regularly
Surveys show bullying occurs often due to a person’s appearance, followed by sexual orientation and gender expression

Bullying in the workplace:

Shouting or swearing at an employee or otherwise verbally abusing him or her
One employee being singled out for unjustified criticism or blame
An employee being excluded from company activities or having his or her work or contributions purposefully ignored
Language or actions that embarrass or humiliate an employee
Practical jokes, especially if they occur repeatedly to the same person
A manager who shouts at or criticizes one of his or her employee repeatedly
A co-worker who is critical of everything one co worker does
A bully always takes credit for successes and passes blame for mistakes, and/or frequently makes hurtful comments or jokes about the victim
Negative comments or actions that are based on a person's gender, ethnicity, religion, or other legally protected status, this is also illegal as it is harassment

Effects of workplace bullying:

Stress
Absenteeism and low productivity
Lowered self-esteem and depression
Anxiety
Digestive upsets
High blood pressure
Insomnia
Trouble with relationships due to stress over work
Post traumatic stress disorder

Workplace bullying Stats

According to the Workplace Bullying Institute…
Up to 1/3 of workers may be the victims of workplace bullying
About 20% of workplace bullying crosses the line into harassment
The New York Times found that about 60% of workplace bullies are men
They tend to bully male and female employees equally
Females tend to bully females more than they bully men

How can we stop bullying with our children?

Work with your children
Work with the school
Work with the district administration

Work with your children

Thank your child for telling you, reassure them its not their fault
Ask your child specific information, such as who is doing it, what happened (was it verbal, physical, cyber etc.), what days were they bullied and where it took place
Find out how your child responded to the bullying
Keep written records of all the information
Tell a school staff (teacher, principal, other staff)
Do not call the parent (this could make it worse on your child)

Work with the school

Meet with your child’s teacher
Discuss what is happening and share all of your information
Ask what can be done so your child feels safe at school
Keep a written record of what happened in the meeting
Make an appointment to meet with the principal to discuss the bullying
Share all information from talking with both your child and the teacehr
Mention how bullying is impacting your child (doesn’t want to go to school, complaining of headaches, stomach aches, new behaviors etc.)
Ask about a written bullying policy the school may have and request a copy
Ask what can be done to protect your child at school

Working with the administration:

Write a letter or an email to the district superintendent requesting a meeting and explain details of the situation including name, age and grade of your child
Keep the letter as brief as possible, also send this to the principal, special educator director (if they receive special education) and the chair of the board.
File a copy for your personal use
Prepare for the meeting by being organized
Take someone with you for support if needed, have them take notes and or contribute information
Remember to ask what can be done to keep your child safe

After the fact...

If you have done all of these steps and nothing ahs improved, contact an advocacy organization for assistance
It is very important to show your child lots of love through all of this
Check on bullying laws for your state, some bullying may be considered harassment

Links for pages to help

**Bullying should never be taken lightly, always take the time to talk with your children, friends and family, let them know you are there for them in their time of need

**Being bullied can lead to alcoholism, drug use and abuse, suicide and other negative things